Most of my pre-birth memory is about my death, although I remember from a very early age thinking that I was supposed to accomplish something, and part of the task was to figure out what it was. Even as a young child I knew without anyone telling me so that I had chosen this life, with these parents in this town, etc., and that I had explained to someone that if only I had the right opportunity, I'd meet their expectations. I have the impression that "they" (it feels like a they, but that's as far as I know) agreed to give me that opportunity, and this is it.

I'm a woman born in Ohio in 1962. When I was young, especially before I was in school, I frequently had what I called to myself the "running dream" or "the dream where I died." It was always exactly the same. I was running hard across a grassy field, away from some woods. Other men (I was a man in the dream) were running too. I was terrified, and all my thoughts were focused on getting across a fence a short way away. There was a small drop-off beyond it, and I knew I'd be safe there. (Other details from I recall is that all the other men and I were wearing kind of coarse and shabby brown clothes -- pants and shirts, not uniforms -- and hats. I also had a very long, very heavy stick in my hand, and I knew I had to hold on tightly to it even though it was slowing me down.) I nearly reached the fence, but just short of it I felt something slam hard into my back. I can still touch the exact spot to this day, just to the right of my spine at the top of the small of my back. It didn't hurt, and I remember being surprised at that. I flew through the air a bit and fell forward onto my stomach. I tried to get up to keep running and found I couldn't move. I was upset and frightened that I couldn't move. I felt blood coming out of my mouth, and it felt hot and wet and thick. Then I could see the whole field from above, with all the people still running, and I felt how afraid they were, but knew I couldn't be hurt any more. I saw my body lying on the field, but all I felt was relief that I wasn't scared any more, and surprised to realize I was dead.

After that part of the dream I always woke up. I was never frightened by it, and didn't think anything particularly weird was going on until I found out that my other friends didn't have dreams like that. I had two experiences later in life that I felt were related to it, both when I was watching movies. Once when I was a teenager I was watching a movie on TV of a person who was shot in the back, and as it was happening I remembered exactly what it felt like. It scared me because I actually felt it again, the blood in my mouth and everything. It had been years since I'd even thought about the running dream. Another time in my late 20s I was watching the editor's cut of Spartacus. Again I was completely surprised during a scene of a battle on a grassy field, a shot of the soldiers advancing, when I found myself thinking, "that's not quite right, but it was almost like that." I suddenly realized the movie scene was similar to a memory related to the running dream, but a part of the dream I'd never had as a child. Again, I got scared and shaky at how this "memory" had unexpectedly intruded.